10 on 10 - November 2015

I'm not going to lie to you all, this month I'm a little unprepared for the 10th. I did take more than 10 photos on certain days throughout the month, but I wasn't able to be quite as intentional as I normally try to be. This month I'm a little sporadic. Before we get to that though, make you check out the other 10 on 10ers

Anne Almasy | Anya Elise Photography | Amy Straka Photography

Button Media | Casey Brodley | Lelia Marie Photography

Lisa Hibbert | Pogo Photo | Shaw Photography | Twinty Photography

Back to the goods.

This past weekend we again had our sweet little niece. I also had had a few holiday mini session scheduled at Furrow Farms (The Furrow family is the sweetest ever, btw. Go get your tree there if you're in the area). Oh, and it was pouring rain the whole time. It like Mother Nature remembered that we've been missing our normal rain for the past six months and decided to drop it all at once. I'm a fan of a good downpour though.

That's all for this month. I have a few tricks up my sleeve coming at the beginning of the year, so stay tuned. 2016 is shaping up to be pretty awesome!

Until next time!

The Growing Family

Some recent stories:

#1 - A few months ago, I randomly got the chance to have dinner with an aunt and uncle that live in Florida. If I’m lucky, I get to see them once every other year, so we had a good amount to talk about and catch-up on; life, career, family, upcoming changes and challenges, etc. Of course we got on the topic of photography and documenting life, real life. I mean have you never met/read me before? It's like all I talk about. …and you may hear more about this part of the conversation in the coming months.

Anyway, mid-conversation my uncle said something that stuck out to me like a pin prick. It was something like:

The thing I remember most about when Mitch was young was when he would fall asleep on his bedroom floor, wearing his superhero costume. 20 years later, I wish I had real documentation of that.

#2 - I got an e-mail from one of my repeat clients from over the last year. Like a handful of my families, I've been around to document their son at different time points in his first year. It's one of my favorite parts about this job, to see how a family grows and changes over the years.

Her e-mail was in response to sending her a gallery of our latest session:

"I'm glad we did three sessions this year. It is so crazy to look back through the 6-month session and see how different he looked then! I almost didn't remember him like that!"

#3 – If you know me at all, you probably know that family is really important to me. …I feel kinda weird even writing that. I mean, isn’t family really important to almost everyone? It’s your backbone. Anyway, over the last two and half years, there has been one little lady that’s been particularly important to me and Nabil, our niece Myra.

Here’s the thing about kids. They grow like freakin’ weeds. In fact, I have a killer dandelion in my front walkway that grows slower than this girl. We see her as often as possible, but in reality, that translates to about twice a month. Sometimes more, sometimes less. You can imagine I take photos of her almost every time she comes over. Naptime in particular.

Can you believe how much she’s changed over the last six month? Each time I see her, she has grown, changed, learned...

Are you sensing a theme here? Throughout life there are key moment and phases, but those moments are just that, moments. They’re fleeting. They’re temporary.

One of the challenges about being a photographer is trying to convey the value of professional photography, especially this day in age when everyone has a decent camera in their pocket. But the thing is, real photography of real moments transcends time. It’s something that becomes more valuable as time passes because it freezes a moment that you won’t ever get back.

Having the opportunity to stay with families and see their kids at different stages in life is really something special. It's a unique opportunity to be able to get a somewhat intimate view of a family once a year. I get to see milestones, how they have their mom's eyes, and how that mischievous smile still hasn't gone away. You know the one that says, I know that you want me to walk towards you, but I'm about to run the other way. ...and then fall in the dirt and get my nice cloths dirty.

I can't tell you how often I hear something like "I miss seeing my kids at that age. At the time I just wanted that phase to be over, now I miss it". 

If you've read my blog before, you know that I preach this from the hillside. (If you haven't you can read more ramblings here and here). Documenting your life with intention gives you the opportunity to later look back at your life and remember all the best pieces that the present often clouds. It gives you the chance to lay to rest all the frustration and irritations time has a way of dissipating, and instead to celebrate what once was and what is now. I can't count how many times I've looked at an old picture of my sister or of my husband and I, and had that ache of nostalgia and the joy of growth all in one moment.

…so, I guess what I’m trying to say (again), is that making it a priority to intentionally and regularly document your life and your family will be something that you will value more and more with each passing year. It costs money, yes, but so does that patio furniture or that new phone, and only one of these things will be around in 20 years. Whether it’s with me, another photographer, or with your cell phone, make the time to remind your future self that you lived a pretty kick-a life.

...and if you're interested in booking something soon, you can check out some info about upcoming holiday mini sessions here.

10 on 10 - October 2015

We're back, another month and another 10 on 10. Before we dive into fall in the PNW though, make sure to check out all the other 10 on 10ers (links below). They're bound to have some good eye candy for you.

Anne Almasy | Anya Elise Photography | Amy Straka Photography

Button Media | Casey Brodley | Lelia Marie Photography

Lisa Hibbert | Pogo Photo | Shaw Photography | Twinty Photography

For today's 10 on 10, I have a trio of fun things to showcase. (1) It's officially fall, and this year, it seems more like our summer has been extended a few months, just with a little more color. We have had beautiful weather which has made playing outside even more fun. (2) Add to that, we're lucky enough to get to have a slumber party with our niece every couple of weeks, and this year we took her out to a pumpkin patch. And (3), my bff, her hubby and my other favorite 2 year old came out as well so the kidos got to play and climb on things. There was lots of climbing.

I'll be the first to admit that I never thought hanging in a kid-filled pumpkin patch would be the highlight of a month. I find that kids often get more annoying as their numbers grow. Somehow though, it changes when you're with the kids you care about; when they aren't other people's kids, but some kind of branch of your life. I love watching this girl try new things and experience the world. There was one initial, nervous ride down the tube slide, and then she couldn't stop. I love watching her and my bff's son become friends and learn to trapse through corn maze holding hands. The fun part is watching them discover their own fun.

Anyway, this month, I give you pumpkin patching with my two favorite kids.

7 things in 7 years

On August 9th of this year, Nabil and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary. In many ways it seems like we have been together so long that we know each other better than any one else, and to be fair, that's true. We were together for 6 years before we got married. We grew up together. We became the people that we are today, together. And then on the other hand, I feel like our wedding was just last year. Time has flown  this last couple of years, and I really don't see it slowing down any time soon.

Over the years though, we have learned a thing or two about being married and how to basically rock the whole thing. So in honor of 7 years of marriage, and 13 1/2 years together, I'm bestowing 7 gems of wisdom onto the interwebs.

7. Every thing is the hardest thing

This is a weird one, and sometimes I'm still on shock about how much people project their own struggles in a relationship onto someone else's life. But it happens, a lot. Every single year we hear something different about how we are about to embark on the hardest part of marriage. "Being engaged is the real test", "The first couple of years are the hardest", "Year three is always when you start fighting", "This year is when the real work starts", "Marriage has years of difficulties. It takes lots of hard work", "the 7 year itch...", "Don't have kids, they ruin a marriage", "Hurry and have kids to save your marriage", etc.

To be frank, we have learned that everyone is full of shit. You make your own relationship. You have your own ups and downs, your own twists and turns. Your journey is your own. Make it what you want. Tune out the crap as much as you can and focus on the person across the table. Nabil and I take the time to focus on one another and our relationship, but it no way would I consider it "hard work". In fact, when we put in the time, it comes pretty easy.

6. Communication, blah, blah, blah...

This one is cliche. Sorry, but it's for real. We talk a lot. We talk about family, career, politics, our house, and the future. We talk and make each other laugh. We talk about how to communicate better, about finances, about sex, about kids (or no kids). We talk about where we want to live, our hopes and dreams, and social issues. We have inside jokes and movie quotes from way too long ago that we've already forgotten where they originated, but it still makes us laugh. We talk without talking.

Here's the thing. We talk because we want to be on the same page. We check in with each other and want to be there for one another. He's usually the first person I tell when I'm upset or frustrated or stumped or excited. We talk so we know each other and so we change together.

5. THIS IS IT

I would put this not just as advice for marriage, but also advice for life. You have one life. One chance with limited time on earth. You're the one who has to live with your choices. Take it and make it the best you can! Don't waste your time being where that doesn't make you happy or being with someone who isn't good for you.

I don't want to look back at my life in 15 years and say "why did I spend so much time in that job?", or "...with that person?", or "...letting that happen?" Live the life you want to live. You only get one. This is it. Make it a goal to look back at your life in 15, 20, and 40 years and say "ya, I'm pretty damn good at this whole living thing". When you pick a partner, find a person who also has that same goal.

4. Be your own person

Nabil and and I have made this a priority for our entire relationship. We started dating in high school, and we knew that if we were going to survive college and keep our relationship afloat, we needed to make sure we were able to grow on our own. To be our own person. We make sure to have our own interests, our own groups, and our own goals.

Don't get me wrong, we both actively participate in one another's interests, but we are also both very independent. I want to be the person to hold his hand as he finds his best self. I want to support and cheer for him, but I don't want Nabil to ever feel like he needs me or depends on me to be himself. I think he's pretty great on his own. I love that we are both sifting through life trying to find our way, and that the other person is there to hold one another's hands, to maybe give one another a boost when necessary, but not to hover or be a crutch.

3. Supporting one another is different than setting expectations

I'll be the first to say, I started our marriage with all of the wrong expectations. I had this idea in my head what it meant to be a wife, to be an adult, and to be a professional. Spoiler alert, adults are just as confused as teenagers about life and marriage isn't meant to be any one thing.

I think I started with this idea of the white picket fence and a wrinkle-free, Pleasantville marriage. What I didn't realize was that my unrealistic expectations were putting so much unneeded pressure on our relationship and on my life. Life isn't perfect. I am not perfect. Nabil is not perfect. And once I let go of that idea of perfect, life and our relationship became a lot easier. Instead of setting expectations for each other, we try to support one another to become the person that we want to be. Allowing one another to grow at their own pace in their own way has ended up blowing both of us away by what the other is capable of doing. Every single person in this world is just trying to find their own path, to be their own person, and by working as a team instead of as a coach (or another parent), we've been able to find a balance of being happy with ourselves and as a couple.

2. be nice to each other

It sounds simple enough, but often I think that people get so busy with life and get caught up in the chaos that we take out our stress and frustrations on the people closest to us. I know that I'm guilty of this sometimes, but really when I take a step back, I think I should be the nicest to Nabil. If I'm a complete ass to everyone else, I should be nice to my husband. He's my person. He's the guy I come home to at the end of a long day. The world is hard enough on all of us as it is, why would I want to add to that for Nabil? Why would I want to pick someone to spend my days with who may add more anger, or resentment, or frustration onto me? I don't.

Be nice to one another. Simple.

1. Liking each other is more important that loving each other

This is my number one for a reason. It seems like all couples go through the same kind of path. First you are attracted to one another and form this kind of "liking" for the other. Then over time and shared experiences, you grow to love one another. If you're like us, you may even have some sappy story about the first time you said the L word. It was nerve racking and left you vulnerable, but felt so good when the other person said it back. And then you get married and make a family and live happily ever after, right?

Well, kind of. What I have found is that love starts the real parts of the relationship, but continuing to like one another keeps it going. I like that Nabil is funny. He makes me laugh and makes our friends laugh. I like that he is caring and loyal. I like that he works hard and is motivated to always be better. Basically, I like who he is as a person. I want to hang out with him everyday and to hear about his day. I want him to tell me about the people that he works with and all the hot office gossip. In my mind, he's still the coolest dude in the room. 

So that's it. Those are my gems. Stick around for another 7 years, and maybe I'll have 7 more pearls to give you.

Until next time...